Friday, February 24, 2006
Tonight and the Rest of My Life
She knew instantly that he would have a profound, perhaps disturbing influence on her life. In a flash of inner perception, she realised that here was a man who did not want to settle. She was frightened . . . in this revealing moment she envisaged heartbreak, but just as swiftly determined that the heartbreak would be worth the pain.She began to sense the rollercoaster that her life with him would be, the unnerving inability to control events as she had been used to, the compartmentalisation of his life and his friends, the range of experience he had passed through that she could not share, the infinite layers of his past and the loyalties that threatened their relationship.
She was in love with him in the beginning and went on to love him. Her care for him showed enormous depths of feeling to which he responded on some levels but never enough to give up. His love had certain reservations and hers was total. She did not think he cared for her very much and she was armoured with that certainty. He was cute but there was something cold about him. It seemed to her that what he gave off was light but not heat, not warmth. And his great charm was his detachment, his seeming detachment from himself.
Ethelinde at 11:27 am